The Modern Cyclops: The Troll

Young Otto finally tore his attention away from the latest game on Facebook, Candy Crush.  It’s appeal was amazing.  It was so simple yet addicting with its strategical game play.  He couldn't believe he was able to tear his eyes away from the game to the Facebook menu at the top of the screen.  He attributed his escape by the Facebook notifications that constantly nagged at him.  The soft ping constantly hounded him, and all of the notifications were Pokes from his friends.  He quickly went to his messages and sent one to his friends for dragging him away from the intoxicating experience that was Candy Crush.  He went to his wall and began to examine the constant news of the world around him.  A girl broke up with her boyfriend.  Cartman was bagging on Kyle again.  Fred and Lisa posted pictures from their recent family reunion.  And then Otto found a link posted by Jeremy.  What was it? It seemed to link to a site called “Reddit.”  Jeremy had also posted some text along with the link.  It read, “For those who love humor on the internet!”  Otto was intrigued.  He opened the link in another tab and began to explore.

Otto found many links adorning the new page.  “Pretty much my favorite photoshopped picture of all time.”  “I sent my parents a picture of the sunset in Japan. They sent me a picture 20 minutes later of the sunrise from Florida.”  They were accompanied by pictures next to the links, and Otto found himself entangled in a feeling of adorableness.  He opened both in more new tabs.  He scrolled through the Photoshop link first.  He found himself looking at an adorable penguin with the head changed from that of a penguin to that of an orca.  Otto’s eyes lit up, and he opened his mouth to “awww” at the sight in front of him.  He scrolled down to find responses to the picture.  Many people had the same reaction he had, and others felt to post more pictures and links to other subreddits and pictures.  Otto decided to open some of these links in even more tabs, caught up in fascination with the new site he discovered.

Otto had many tabs opened on Google Chrome.  The only sight on each tab was the favicon for a site showing what sites were open in which tab.  He clicked onto another tab he had opened earlier, one discussing drug use.  He started to read through the subreddit with a grand smile upon his face and his eyes wide open like a child receiving a gift.  As he ran through all of the text, some interesting posts caught his eye.  Crude language was abundant, racist thoughts flying every other sentence.  His smile fell quickly, and his eyes drew together to squint at the screen in thought.  He kept scrolling through the posts, and he began to grow horrified.  Mentions of sex grew the farther he went, and more and more raunchy did it grow.  Mentions of rape were now abundant, almost reminiscent of what one would hear during a Halo match on Xbox Live.  He couldn't bear to keep going through all of the links anymore, he needed to do something about this.

Otto created an account on Reddit.  He would make his own subreddit.  He would draw attention to himself.  He had come across a new creature in his exploration of Reddit, the troll.  The troll would draw attention to itself by the use of language.  Extremely out of place foul language, off topic posts, ignorant and bigoted ranting, and completely off-topic posts were the trolls’ norms.  Otto decided to make a difference and possibly stop some of the trolls.  He would leave after his victory, but he would not let them know who he really was.  He still knew the rule of the internet, never give your actual information to anyone. (Hi social media!)  Otto would become, troll bait.

Otto created a subreddit that he knew would draw attention quickly.  Otto would insult those who belonged to the PC master race.  The subreddit was labeled as “PC master race kisses Consoles’ ass.”  He drew people in quickly.  Many trolls came along to get at him, using many logical fallacies and threats to make him flee, delete his subreddit.  They attacked his character falsely, calling him gay, stupid, having no life, just a 12 year-old who hadn't even hit puberty.  Otto smiled to himself in satisfaction.  He made the trolls indignant, he made them enraged.  The trolls had been trolled.  They were beaten at their own game.

Otto opened a Red Bull to congratulate himself on his victory.  It was his twelfth one that night, for he drank one for every genius idea he had. He became intoxicated with the caffeine and sugar he consumed.  He lost some of the sanity he had kept while going through Reddit.  He looked back at his subreddit, it drew thousands of trolls.  They were all tricked by him.  The trolls got trolled by him, basically a newb.  He decided to make one last post.

“Hahaha!!!  All of you were trolled by the great Otto Dyson!  A newb to Reddit!  Feel shame on you all for this day you were all trolled by me!”

The trolls looked upon the new post in the subreddit.  They became more enraged, they were indignant, outraged!  However, they found the one flaw that Otto had.  The troll bait had posted his actual name.  He gave actual information of himself.  The trolls went to Facebook and searched “Otto Dyson.”  They found the name as one of the first.  This “Otto Dyson” had recently liked Reddit, and he had posted about trolling the people of Reddit.  The trolls went through Otto’s profile and found his cell phone number in his contacts.  The trolls smiled an evil smile.  They were able to contact him constantly, when he was anywhere with his cell phone.  The trolls went back to Reddit and created a subreddit.  It was titled with Otto’s cell phone number.  There was only one post on the thread.  It was an order to the people of Reddit.

“Attack.”

Becoming a Hero

The Odyssey was a tale of a heroic man named Odysseus. Odysseus was no stranger to a challenge; he even had to fight for his hand in marriage. Odysseus married a women named Penelope and they had one child together. Their child was named Telemachus, now a young boy who wants to be a hero just like his father. One day, Odysseus was forced to leave and embark into battle. The Trojan War was a fierce battle in a far away land. Consequently, Telemachus was left to protect Penelope and their home in Ithaca, Greece. Penelope had no idea when Odysseus would return, but kept his memory alive as she told her son of his heroic exploits. This is the story of Telemachus’s journey to one day reunite with his father.

Penelope tells heroic stories to Telemachus (age 6) about his father Odysseus while Telemachus plays in the court yard in Ithaca adorning his father’s clothes. Moreover, Telemachus imagines the time when he will be fighting monsters, battling gods, and sailing across the open sea.

It has been 10 years and there is still no sign of Odysseus. Telemachus’s mother, Penelope, is being fancied by other suitors and Telemachus does not want that to happen. Telemachus is sixteen and he is starting to become proficient at sailing and combat.

Telemachus is now a man and has set out on his first voyage with his crew to find word of his father after 15 years. He has heard that Odysseus may have been seen at the Island of the Cyclops and the course was set. 

Once Telemachus and his crew reached the Island of the Cyclops, they were greeted much like Odysseus. To save his men, Telemachus convinced the Cyclops that he was there to kill Odysseus. Telemachus feared the Cyclops would surely kill them all if he had mentioned Odysseus was his father. Cleverly, Telemachus found out that his father had left this island only a year prior. As an offering of peace, Telemachus and his crew left the island never to return.  However, the Cyclops still sought retribution and before Telemachus could leave, the Cyclops ate ten of his men.

Telemachus decided he needed to get more supplies and men in order to continue the journey to find his father. He and his crew arrived home after one year and Telemachus told his mother of the Cyclops, his men, and the reassuring news of his father.  Penelope was elated to hear that her son and Odysseus were still alive.  She told Telemachus how proud she was of him.  Telemachus was becoming a man right before her eyes.  As the list of suitors continued for Penelope, Telemachus grew annoyed and tired of these men.  He vowed to Penelope to find his father, her husband, and bring him back as the rightful king of Ithaca. Later, Telemachus recieved word of a ship stranded off the coast of Greece. 

After several days at sea, Telemachus and his men found the stranded ship.  They disembarked and searched the nearest island.   Telemachus saw someone in the distance and approached the man. Telemachus asked the man his name and where he was from.  He looked very weathered and hungry, but replied he was from Ithaca. Telemachus asked once again his name. The man replied, I am Odysseus of Ithaca, son of Laertes. Telemachus and his crew were stunned and in disbelief. Telemachus tested the man to ensure he was not lying. He asked the man,” if you are Odysseus what is your son’s name, his mother’s name, and the name of the Cyclops Odysseus defeated”. The man replied,” Telemachus, Penelope, and Polyphemus.” Telemachus decided that this must have been Odysseus, and told him his name. I am your son Telemachus, I searched for you for years and I have finally found you. I have much to tell you. As do I, replied Odysseus.

Never Give Up

          Dorian was walking across the river, it was deep and swifter than he had expected. It was difficult crossing but not as difficult as his life had been these past few hours. His mind had wandered to his one true love, he had to get back to her. His life had taken him far away, down a strange path. He’ll never forget the day that he woke up and found himself being looked upon by those strange beings. He didn’t know where he was or how he got there.

          When Dorian woke up he asked questions like “where am I?” and “how did I get here?” These strange beings did not answer but somehow it was in his head, he knew what they thought. He was there for a clear purpose. Images flooded his mind of strong Well-To-Do men. The men were evil. They had to be stopped. Dorian didn’t know what to do but he knew he must do something. The next set of images came, they were of other strange beings. These beings were bad, they were going to try and stop him. With all of these thoughts whirling in his mind, one thing became clear. Dorian knew he had to get back to his family to protect them.

          The next thing Dorian knew, he was looking in the mirror at a different person. He knew it was him but the image that he saw was clearly not his image. What had happened to him? Did those strange beings change his appearance? Where was he? How did he get there? Why is he there? So many questions were running through Dorian’s mind and he did not have one answer. He knew the first thing he had to do was find out where he was. So he turned and walked out of the room.

          To Dorian’s surprise he realized he was at his friend Markus’s house. Markus was the one person in this whole work that Dorian knew he could trust. But where was he? All of a sudden, Dorian heard a familiar voice and soon came to realize that it was Markus’s voice. Dorian decided since his image has changed he may not want to approach Markus so he eavesdropped on the conversation instead. The first thing he heard Markus say was “I don’t know who this is in my house or where he came from”. The strange voice replied “This man is your enemy, he must die or he will harm you”. Hearing this, Dorian began to panic and decided that since his home was only across the river he should leave at this very moment and not count on his dear friends help.

          Half way across the river, a plan began to come to Dorian. He knew that since his looks had changed his wife would not know who he was. There must be a way that he could prove who he was to her since his image could not. Suddenly Dorian was pulled under water with such force that he could not break free. Under water, Dorian struggled to gain composure. Holding his breath, he slowly opened his eyes and almost inhaled with panic when he realized one of the beings from his abduction was wrapped around his leg drawing him downward. The evil green being smiled widely up at him. Just when Dorian thought his time came to an end a bright light shined from up above. A red being sliced through the water, severing the arms of the green being and quickly his smile disappeared. Dorian swam upward with all the strength that he had left. As Dorian emerged violently through the surface of the water, he inhaled deeper than he ever has before and thanked the red being that he was alive. Dorian slowly crawled from the water onto the dry land. Dorian then lost consciousness.

          Gabriella sat at home wondering what had become of Dorian. Three days ago he left to go get eggs from the store and he never returned. Gabriella filed a missing persons report earlier this morning. The police had put out an all-points- bulletin. The local news station had picked up the story and plastered Dorian’s face all over the place. Since that time, many strong Well-To-Do men had come to Gabriella with the intention of replacing her Dorian. This had become so tedious for her that Gabriella announced on the news to all of them. Her speech stated that if they wished to replace Dorian they would have to show that they were the most selfless man.  They must all come to her home today at 8pm.

          When Dorian gained consciousness he was lying on a dirty, little couch in a room that smelled of moth-balls. A television blared with the voice of his wife. As he began to make out the words, he realized she was trying to replace him. Dorian quickly got up to see what time it was. The clock read 7:00pm. But where the hell was he and how far from home was he? Dorian turned around because he heard a shrill cackle and a little old lady coughed and hacked as she laughed at the befuddled look on his face. Right before his eyes she transformed into a red being and thoughts entered his mind that he was only forty five minutes from home. Dorian knew exactly where he was and left immediately.

          As Dorian approached his home, he realized that not only did he not look the same, but he also was not one of the strong Well-To-Do men. How would he gain access to this event? Dorian sneaks behind a Well-To-Do man, knocks him out, and then steals his ID. Once inside, he notices that all of the men who were images put in his mind by the beings were here. This was Dorian’s chance to not only win back his love but also eliminate the strong Well-To-Do men.

          The first man steps up to Gabriella and states “I have just given all of my wealth to the orphans in Africa to prove how selfless I can be to win you over”. Gabriella laughs and shouts “NEXT!” The next man steps up and says “I bought a zoo and will let everyone in for free to prove how selfless I can be”. Gabriella laughs out the word “next”. The third man, looking very intimidating, approaches Gabriella carrying a large rifle. He says “I will use my rifle to hunt down rabbits and chickens and feed everyone in the world.” Gabriella laughs so hysterically that she begins to cry. This man is so embarrassed and humiliated that he becomes very angry. He lifts his rifle and points it at her. As he pulls the trigger, Gabriella realizes that she will die. A split second before the bullet gets to her, a man dives in front of her, taking the bullet square in the chest. He falls to the ground, Gabriella goes down to him and says “that was the most selfless thing I have ever seen”. You are the only one I can truly love”. As the last word escapes her lips, and the last breathe escapes his, his image changes back to that of her husband, Dorian. Out of nowhere, a red being appears and a brilliant light is cast upon Dorian’s dead body. Moments later, his body arches and with a great inhale of air, Dorian is alive again. Each of the strong Well-To-Do men break down and cry. These men realize the evil they have done and change their ways. The red being recognizes this and tells Dorian “your task is complete”.

Maid Of Time

MAID OF TIME

By: Kaitlin Pinterpe

            My Queen Penelope will never cease to amaze me. Even with these disgusting men in her palace Queen Penelope still is very kind.  Just the other day, a beggar came into the grounds, with no background she greeted him with open arms.  Apparently, he met Odysseus on his travels. I do not believe him, but Penelope has not had this much hope in a while.  So even if it is a lie, it makes her happy for a while.  Penelope gives the man some food and is going to let him spend the night here.  I think this whole Odysseus situation has made her crazy, but I will follow whatever she says.  But before Penelope let him go to bed, she wants to wash his feet. He quickly tells her no, he does not want a Queen to clean his feet, and at least he has some standards.  Oh no, Penelope is calling me over and asking me to wash his feet.  

            As I am washing this man's feet I look down and see this scar.  It reminded me of the worst pain I have ever felt.  I remember it like it was yesterday. That day it felt as though my heart was being torn out of my chest.  My master, Odysseus was leaving to fight in the Trojan War.  I have been taking care of this man for as long as I could remember.  It even felt as though my own son was being taken from me and forced into war.  Don’t get me wrong, Odysseus was a great man and led his men to victory; it has just been a hard many years.  My feeling could not even begin to compare with what Penelope feeling.  She loved him so much more than anyone can ever love someone that. The timing of this war could not have been more wrong.  Their baby boy, Telemachus, was just starting to grow.   I remember asking myself what happens if he dies? No, I said to myself you cannot think like that Eurycleia, he is going to win the war and came back safe and sound.  When he does come home everything will be back to normal.   Was I ever more wrong?

             Oh my Zeus, this man's feet smell disgusting, like he has not had a decent bath in years.  I can't believe that I am touching his feet, like I would clean my master's feet. 

             Those feet carried Odysseus away on that terrible day. The walk to the dock, where the war ship is, was so quiet and sad.  Penelope and I could not stop crying, and Odysseus just kept his head down.  Poor little Telemachus did not know his father was leaving him for some time.  Odysseus was a great father, before we got to the ships he stopped the group and picked up his son and told him that he was the man of house until he came back. Penelope cried even more, all I could do was to hold and hope that it helped with her pain.  When we got to the dock, the goodbyes were way too short and then the boats started to sail away.  I felt Penelope’s body just lean into me, just every so slightly more, and that was how we walked home. Telemachus was just holding my hand, he is a well behave child, knew when someone was upset, he would not fuss up.   When we get home Penelope just went up to her room and it was not until a week later she came out. I still remember to this day how sad and depressed Penelope's eyes were. 

             Sadly, her eyes are more like that today.  The years have sucked the light right out of them.  I don't know if anything could bring back that light.

           It was ten years since Penelope, Telemachus, and I last saw Odysseus leave the ports.  Penelope has done wonders to the now grown Telemachus, a person would never know that he was raised without a father.  He couldn’t wait to  met and see his father again.  That morning we got the most wonderful news, the Trojan War had ended, and the surviving warriors were going to come home very soon.  I could not remember the last time Penelope smiled so much, and Telemachus was so excited to meet his father again.  All the servants rejoiced to this news and cleaned the palace at least seven times to make it ready for his homecoming.  Then we waited and waited and waited…. He never came home, and both Penelope and Telemachus were heart broken.   I too was heartbroken, but I needed to stay positive for everyone else.  Some nights I just heard Penelope cry herself to sleep, and sometimes Telemachus would try to go in and comfort her, but end up crying also.  Just thinking about it breaks my heart; I prayed every night that he would come home, no matter how much it hurt.  When he was old enough, Telemachus went on a to find his father and came back with a sense of hopelessness.

            "Excuse, old woman, but why have you stop cleaning my feet?"  

            "Oh I am sorry, You caught me in a daydream." 

            "What about, if you don't mind me asking?"

            "A lost friend, actually, you look a little bit like him."

             More years passed and the news of Odysseus not returning had spread like wildfire.  Suitors had come from all over the world to take Odysseus spot in the palace.  This made everyone very upset, except some of the servants; they enjoy having the men around.   I hated them all, they were rude and did not care about Penelope feelings at all, none of them could even compare to what Odysseus was.  They were forcing her to make her decision, on who she is going to marry.  I swear she is too smart for her own good, she convinced the suitors to wait until she finish a blanket she was weaving, in memory of Odysseus.  It was of Odysseus' father, Laertes it is a beautiful it is made of the colors white and blue.  Every day she would work on it, and ever night when the suitors fell asleep she would unravel a few rows.  This plan worked for three years until that sorry excuse for a servant ratted her out.  

              The men started to grow angry so Penelope decided that the suitors would have to have a contest to win her affection.  They needed to string a bow that was designed just for Odysseus then shoot through a row of axes’ handles. The only person who can do is Odysseus.  She claimed she wanted a suitor so close to Odysseus to be her next husband.  She left the suitors to struggle with that for a while.  The Queen made this contest because no one, except Odysseus, can string that bow. 

My fingers accidentally ran over the scar again then I reexamine the scar. Wait a minute, I know that scar.  My master Odysseus got that scar when he was little.  He was attacked by a wild animal while was hunting. By the grace of Zeus he killed the animal before it could injure him more.  I am almost in tears because this man, sitting in front of me is my long lost master.  Then he recognizes me, I see the fear in his eyes and then it turned to anger.  I am about to tell Penelope that it is Odysseus, but when she turns, he grabs me by the throat and says if "You tell her and  I would second guess killing you".  What type of greeting is that from a master I have not seen in twenty years?  I am baffled of what has become of this man I use to worship.  I  start to think the trip has caused him to lose his humanity.  Then he tells me some of his plan, and asks if all the servants have been faithful. I tell him not everyone, and he says he will deal with her later, but first he must get rid of the pest, the suitors.  He tells me to take everyone in a room and lock the doors until he tells me other wise. 

I follow what he says, but I don’t understand why we need to lock the doors.  It is not until I heard the screams of the man in the courtyard.  Odysseus is killing all of them for trying to take his Penelope away from him.  Those screams will always haunt me for the rest of my life, because they were the last things all the men did before they died.  While this is happening I look over to Penelope.  She is both confused, why are the men screaming and then she realized happy that those cries mean that Odysseus has come back to her and will save her from those horrible men. 

            It was a few minutes of silence until I hear the door rattle and I know the horror is over.  Penelope cannot hold her joy any longer.   She pushes pass me and hugs Odysseus and they both start to cry.  We all leave them because they deserve some time to “catch up.” That is the story of my master, twenty years later and he still looks at Penelope like he did when he first met her.